Why chasing goals is fleeting, and leaves most people unhappy and unfulfilled

Why chasing goals is fleeting, and leaves most people unhappy and unfulfilledWhy chasing goals is fleeting, and leaves most people unhappy and unfulfilledWant to know what it feels like to achieve a massive goal?It feels like you were the last one at the party to get the joke.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreGoals are funny. In your mind, they are these distant carrots we choose for ourselves, working tirelessly toward their achievement. We as humans inherently believe the way we feel during our pursuit is how we will feel once our hands are wrapped around the trophy, except better.We see goals as a euphoria that, once captured, will never leave.The truth is, the high you get from achieving a goal usually lasts all of 12seconds.As soon as you reach that goal, its bedrngnis so much glory that you feel, but this strange realization that who you thought you were going to become was who you already were.I remember back when I had just graduated from college, and even years after, when I would look around at people I viewed as successful and pinpoint certain things about them I wanted to have.I wanted to live life on my own terms and be an entrepreneur.I wanted to make a certain amount of money.I wanted to associate myself with certain types of people.I wanted what they had.In my mind, I viewed the gap between them and me as this big, wide ocean. It seemed so wide that I struggled to understand how I was going to be able to overcome that gap, and become something more so that I could become successful too.So, I set goals formyselfAnd every time I would achieve a goal, almost instantaneously a bigger one would take its place. Like Tetris blocks that continued to click into place and then disappear, I failed to ever feel any real sense of achievement. Sure, I felt good for a moment. Or I was proud of myself for a day. But as soon as I reached a new height, suddenl y my imagination opened a little bit wider, and I realized the goal I had set for myself had actually been pretty small?- ?and there was a much larger one there on the horizon.Or I was proud of myself for a day. But as soon as I reached a new height, suddenly my vision opened a little bit wider, and I realized the goal I had set for myself had actually been pretty small?- ?and there was a much larger one there on the horizon.It has taken me a long time to learn thatachievementisnt the thing youreafterWhat youre after is the feeling you feel as you pursue something you care about. Because once you reach it, that feeling leaves you. Theres no reason for you to continue. And while it feels relaxing for a moment, the feeling that follows is actually disconnection, or nostalgia. You miss the journey you just completed. Youve closed a chapter, and now its time to say goodbye.This is part of the reason why I think its so important for people to focus on the journey and not the destination. To say youre after the destination is to say, I cant wait until Im done playing this game. Well then what are you playing for in the first place?The whole point is to play, to enjoy the process. The moment you reach the final level, defeat the final boss, and have nothing left to do, is the moment you lose your love for playing at all.And thats not inspiring or exciting.That can actually be quite sad.This article first appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people